New Moon | October 16, 2020 | 23 Libra 53’
The Look or the Life?
I do not relish suspending my dirty laundry on screen, but I think it might be helpful to others. And then this irritating, uncomfortable, distressing experience, might not be in vain.
The issue is swollen feet, exacerbated by ringworm on the feet. Louise Hay, in her book, Heal Your Body, says that ringworm is “feeling dirty.” It rang a bell. I recognized that I had been looking around my living space at the Corona virus influence of mounting clutter in my space, and a sharp decline of showers for my body. I was feeling badly about this, down on myself about this. I have often said in the past that it is a good thing people come over for consultation or class, otherwise I would never clean up the place. And since I only go out a couple of times a week, a little dab washing is taken to suffice.
Moral of the story so far is that one needs to look at oneself without shame and condemnation. It was not just the matter; it was how the matter made me feel about myself. Do not do this! This made it worse! Then as Venus in Virgo moved in to oppose Neptune in 18 degrees Pisces, I rub CBD oil into my legs hoping to help with the swelling of the feet, go for a walk in crop pants that expose my lower legs and come home to chronic itching of the legs that has kept me from falling asleep easily for two nights.
My inner self tells me to investigate this—to discern what is underlying this body “speech.” The body talks to us when we try to dismiss that which cannot be dismissed. I felt like my body was telling me “this hurts you.” I also felt that it was deeper than cleaning my apartment or cleaning my body.
Though subtle, the deeper and more significant issue is that I don’t think it is necessary to clean my space for me—only for the comfort and opinion of others. Likewise, I clean my body when I have to be with others.
What matters, the look, or the life? I think of people who might stay in a bad marriage because they want to maintain the appearance that somebody loves them, or who will not give up the boring, life-sucking work because it has a title. I think of Ken Jeong who gave up a career as a physician to be a comedian. What? But he took his doctor-success ways and is not only a successful comedian, but an actor, producer, writer, and TV personality. Maybe his body told him that being a doctor hurt, and being a comedian would give him life, if not a title. Imagine if he opted to impress others and die inside. Bless his wife. I can imagine some women would have said, give up the M.D., give up me.
I decided that it is not okay to live a life that expresses that what it looks like makes up for what it is. This is illustrated by the Sun and Moon in Libra, where sometimes one cares too much what others thinks as opposed to what is meaningful to the self, Mars in Aries in the 6th house of health. Chiron in Aries is also in the 6th house of the Libra rising chart. Both Libra and Aries square the planets in Capricorn, appearances. Capricorn planets in the third could represent being too critical of yourself in your thoughts, while Saturn in Capricorn in the 4th house represents, not only the appearance of the home, but how good or not you feel inside.
Draw an issue. What is going on in your relationships, your home, your job, or career? Bernie Siegel, M.D., in his book, The Art of Healing recommends drawing to unveil your subconscious and allow it to have open communication with your conscious self. You can also put your life in a poem. You are not trying to make great art. You are trying to unlock your heart.